Too Old To Be a Cougar

It's New Year’s Day and I find myself a little fuzzy headed from the late night festivities. Movement is very difficult and deep thought is out of the question so I do something I almost never do, that is watch daytime television. We are staying with friends and it is raining, most everything is closed and I am ready for a change in scenery from all of the touchdowns and tackling in the next room. My hostess has recorded the talk show Ellen from earlier in the day, so I kick back and tune in. The musical guest is a kid named Paolo Nutini. Hmmm. Well you know that anybody with a name like this will immediately spark my attention, so I resist the urge to go into the other room and scream, “Hey a-----les, just how much football does anybody need to watch in one day anyway?” and I focus my attention on the entertainment at hand.

It turns out that this kid is really good. I mean shiver up your spine, makes you want to get up and dance good. He has a unique sound that I can’t quite put my finger on, so after dinner while the boys are watching football game number four (please kill me now), I go to the web to do a little research. Paolo Nutini is a cute little Scottish-Italian with a voice that can make you melt. He has been on the music scene for just a couple of years now, mainly in Europe and has recorded everything from his original tunes to remakes of hits by Sly and the Family Stone, Cher, Amy Winehouse and Louis Armstrong to name a few. The foregoing list should give you some idea of the range and variety of the music. My favorites so far are “Last Request” and “New Shoes.”

Now just when I am starting to get over the whole turning fifty thing, I have to go and find something like this. It makes me want to quit my job, get a bunch of Botox, liposuction, hair extensions, and start going to concerts again. I still have it in me, I know I do. I brought in the New Year dancing on four inch heels and I didn’t fall down once. So this poses an interesting question. Just how old is too old to be a cougar? Is forty the cut-off, forty-five?

So I jump up from the sofa to launch into some aerobic exercises when I realize that my feet still really hurt. It seems that I am experiencing a new phenomenon, the dancing in high heels hangover. This occurs after a night of drinking and dancing, sometimes simultaneously, and will result in both your head and your feet feeling like they have been pounded with a sledgehammer the following day. After a few minutes of extreme discomfort I decide that reinventing myself into a cougar may have to wait and that maybe buying some more reasonable shoes, drinking less wine and getting a little more exercise should be on the list of resolutions for the coming year.

Even so tomorrow I am going music shopping to buy some more Paolo Nutini and I will listen to it regularly to remind me to stay young at heart and to dance more often. (And I was just kidding about giving up the shoes.)