Ten Things I Know For Sure

As I wind down the path to fifty, there are a few things that I have learned along the way that deserve a word or two. The messages that ring true at twenty are less enduring at thirty, forty and fifty…. Less drama more pajama, that is my mantra. We old folks love to share our gems of wisdom, so here goes. The top ten things that I know for sure are:

Number One: It is almost never that big of a deal. I look back on many of the things that may have upset me in the past and I realize how trivial they now seem.

Number Two: Don’t worry about what other people think. There is an old expression that goes something like this. ”You would spend less time worrying about what other people thought of you, if you only realized how seldom they actually do.”

Number Three: Always take time to plant tomatoes. I wish that I had spent a lot less time chasing the dangling carrots and more time planting my own tomatoes. No matter how important you think you are to an organization, you can and will be replaced. There is always some eager beaver that will rise to the occasion.

Number Four: Ask for what you want. If you don’t, you may never get it. Speak up! Let it be known how you want to live, work, eat, vacation etc. No one will be a better advocate for you than you.

Number Five: Be comfortable with your own skin. Do take care when making choices. Some things like tattoos last forever, so if a mid-life crisis is on the horizon, it may be better to go for the massage, unless you are really sure you want what you think you want.

Number Six: Olive oil is better than butter. It is much healthier and it tastes better,that is unless you are making frosting. There are exceptions to every rule.

Number Seven: Better to have two desserts than six glasses of wine. You will feel much better in the morning and may actually save calories, if anyone is counting.

Number Eight: An orchestra is not needed when a piano solo will do. It is Ok to do just enough once in awhile. We can conserve our energy for when we really want to shine.

Number Nine: Even an ostrich is beautiful to another ostrich. Pick your style and go with it.

And finally……drum roll…..

Number Ten: Sometimes enough is really enough. Contentment is a valid emotion.

Facebook, Friend or Folly!

Those of you that read my blog will notice something new. I finally succumbed to the hype surrounding social media and decided to give it a try! Yes, I have created my very own Facebook page.

Now for those of you who have no experience with Facebook, the simplest way to decribe it is a personal mini Web-site. You can list as little or as much information as you care to in your profile and you can share this information with your friends. You also have a Facebook Wall on which you can post photos, video and anything else that you want to share with said friends.

Your Facebook friends are others on Facebook that you have contacted and sent out a friend request that they accepted or vice versa. Sounds simple doesn't it. Welllll maybe... So far so good, but I will keep you posted.

There seems to be some sort of contest among some to see how many friends they can attach to their pages. It is a nice feeling to get a friend request in the mail,e-mail that is, but we do sometimes have to decide if we truly want that person to be privy to our daily activities and inner most thoughts. I got a friend request from my insurance guy who I see once every couple of years. I am sorry but I had to ignore that one. Aquaintance yes, nice guy, certainly, but friend, not so sure.

There are some that have hundreds and hundreds of friends listed. I am not sure I even know that many people. It makes me feel down right inadequate when I see stats like this, but you know there are overachievers everywhere.

Having finally experienced this Facebook phenomenom first hand I will say there are some very positive aspects to it. It has enabled me to get in touch with a couple of old friends that I have not seen in awhile. It is great to see pictures of their families and to catch up with them in this way. I hope that we can get together in person in the near term and without Facebook, who knows if we would have ever been on each other's radar screens. It is so easy as we get older to let old friendships fall by the wayside as we grow busy with the present.

It is also a fantastic way to stay tuned in to family members, especially those that live far away. It is possible to link up with cousins and in-laws and keep them informed on the family events with the posting of a couple of photos on the "Wall". We can trade some funny tidbits and get a glimpse of each others lives from afar.

Facebook can allow us to share little pieces of ourselves with others. I have seen a couple of really good videos, seen some good jokes and it is nice to see their smiling friendly faces pop up now and then. All in all, it is just plain good to hear from them and I feel fortunate to truly call them friends.

Twitter anyone?

Contemplating Cher

There are few people that have achieved worldwide recognition by their first names. One of them is most certainly Cher. We all know Cher from her music and movies. We grew up watching the Sonny and Cher show. We know her kids names, Chastity and Elijah Blue, her husbands names, Sonny and Greg and we have followed the trials and tribulations of her life and career. We have seen her grow from teenage hippie chick to full blown celebrity over the past four and a half decades. Few stars have achieved such enduring success in such a wide variety of genres.

Cher is currently the headliner at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. She is in pretty good company as her show alternates with that of the Divine Miss M and followed a multi-year stint by another superstar, Celine Dion, at the same location. I saw the show last week and it was nothing short of spectacular. My husband was generous enough to score seats just eight rows from the stage so we had a view that was up close and personal.

For an hour and a half, she performed in an array of costumes that left little to the imagination and some how it felt right. It was Vegas after all and it was Cher. We have at times witnessed the aging rock stars that still have talent but look a little silly in their tight pants under the bright lights. This was not the case here folks. Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, sixty three has never looked so good! Her voice is as strong as ever and she moved about the stage with grace and agility.

As much as we can admire her talent and great looks, the thing that I admire most is her attitude. She is a survivor. Her self confidence and her conviction to settle for nothing less than what she wants resonates. She is not afraid to take life on her own terms even if that means that she is the subject of scrutiny and even a certain amount of ridicule from time to time. She does what she wants. It is that simple.

I almost missed out on this show. As often happens there is a variety of viewpoints whenever a group of people get together and try to select a plan of action. If I had a dollar for every time that I have deferred to someone else and went along with what other people wanted I would have a pretty big stack by now. There is always someone in the group that decides what the choice of entertainment will be or the choice of restaurant and there are those of us that typically follow along. We get used to this as we allow our spouses, children, family, clients, and even friends make the choices. Every once in awhile we have to stand up and say loud and clear, "This is what I want," whatever it may be, and stick to it.

Taking a stand and asking for what we want can be risky. What if it turns out badly? What if we end up looking silly? What if we make someone mad at us?

Taking a stand, asking for what we want, and not apologizing for the outcome, these are all qualities of a DIVA. Having the self confidence to make choices for ourselves and to take chances is essential to holding ourselves in high esteem and in receiving the same treatment from others.

As I watched the show, I sat there suspended in amazement and most certainly happy that I had done what I really wanted to do, no apologies needed. I plan to do it a whole lot more often.